update

| 24 Comments

Well, I’m holding steady. The good news is that I met with a wonderful gastroenterologist on Friday and he did not recommend surgery. He said that in cases like mine, gallbladder removal only improves symptoms in *one third* of patients. One third has the same symptoms after surgery and one third gets worse. Hell no. I’ll keep the thing, at least for now.

The pain is slightly improved this week, but I’m still uncomfortable and still bloated. I’m taking my herbal tincture (which tastes like the floor of a hospital) and enzymes and going to acupuncture and going to sleep super early, and trying to keep things moving through me. But overall, it’s a drag. I’m a drag. Oh I know I should be positive and grateful that it isn’t anything more serious—things could always be worse—but I’m sick of feeling like this. A few of you have commented that I seem to be dealing with it so gracefully, but really I’m not. I want to feel like myself again and eat peanut butter on gluten free toast. (It’s gluten-free, for heaven’s sake.) And some chocolate. And maybe an egg salad sandwich. (We were watching Ramona and Beezus last night and there is a scene in which the girls are eating gummy bears. I almost wept with longing. I haven’t eaten gummy bears in a very long time, and I don’t even like them that much. This is what I’ve been reduced to, people.)

Tomorrow I’ll be heading to Danbury, Wisconsin for my winter Motherhood & Words Retreat, and even though I’ll be “on” all weekend, I’m hoping that healing place will work its magic on me. After my afternoon conferences, I might try a slow ski around the pond. And I’ll have a massage after my last conference on Saturday. (The massages are new this year, and I’m very excited about them!)

I always come home from this retreat energized by my students’ stories, by the work they’ve done, but I’m hoping that this year I’ll also come home feeling a little better. Maybe?

24 Comments

  1. Thinking of you and wishing you well. I want to hear more about this retreat because it sounds like something I just might need to do next year!

    • Nicole, I was just thinking about you this morning, trying to figure out where to fit your mss review. I’ll email you! And I would love to have you at the retreat. It’s in May and October too!

  2. So sorry, you! Hang in there! xo

  3. Oh, Kate. I missed your last post, so I had to go back and find out what you were updating about. I hope you feel better, really get better, soon. Sending healing thoughts your way. Keep taking care of yourself in all the wonderful ways you are.

    • Thank you, Sara! I’m actually feeling so crappy this afternoon that I think a glass of wine might be in order. Or toast? It’s really bad when dry gluten free toast and a glass of wine sound like just the thing. xox

  4. Hope the weekend is healing. Tough not feeling yourself- you can’t be uber positive every day- not natural..hugs

  5. Kate, I’m so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well :(. I hope you enjoy your retreat this weekend and get some time to rest and rejuvenate. Thinking of you and sending love and healing energy your way. XO

    • Thank you, Julie! I hope I get a little relaxing in this weekend, too, but it’s not really set up that way. But the massage will be lovely! I hope to see you soon! xo

  6. So sorry to hear this, Kate. Have you tried a probiotic? Have fun at your retreat. A massage is sure to help.

  7. The days before we pinned down my husbands’ celiacs disease are still fresh in my mind. It’s awful to feel like your food (your body) is attacking you (especially when it really is). Those weeks when we eliminated everything, but before we saw any results were excruciating. But it got better. So, so, so much better. Hang in there. I am wishing you all the best.

  8. In the midst of this – your writing is still awesome. The floor of a hospital? I really understand now… :/ I hope this weekend is energizing/restoring for you. xo

  9. Oh, Kate!
    Hoping for healing for you in the healing place. And that you don’t have to drink up the hospital floor too much longer. Here’s to peanut butter toast for you in the near future! Enjoy your retreat.

  10. Ohhhh!!! to crying longingly for even gummy bears! Must be so tough when everything is in flux & you can’t even have those old comfort foods, however healthy they may seem. We are all rooting for you & the health, balance, & pure energy you crave (unbloated & all). xoxox sending love!

  11. I hope you’re feeling better after your retreat, Kate! Personally, I can’t imagine leading a retreat while not feeling well–you’re a wonder. Hope you’ve earned yourself a little downtime. Take care!

    • Thank you, Patricia. I might just take that down time this week. I have a few things I need to get done, but I’m working on the couch, and will curl up when I need a rest.

  12. Ugh. So sorry, Kate! I hope the retreat did wonders for you. xo

    • Thank you, Hallie! The retreat was good and I had a massage, which was lovely. The nausea hit me hard some days, but yesterday I felt pretty good. Fingers crossed. xo

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